As we get ready for the 10th Heroes for Andy gala, I have been going through pictures, video and memories. Along with doing that, we had our annual reunion to remember Andy with those Marines from his unit that live close enough to gather and remember.The chain that binds these warriors is a special one, with the links being war, protection, love of one another and Ace.
Some ask why we would rip the scab off of our emotions after ten years. A scab indicates healing. You never recover from a loss of someone you love so dearly so there really is no "scab". The hole in our lives that occurred with the loss of Andy never healed over as the void remains. Life becomes different. We learn how to function with a hole in our hearts.
That initial anguish had to change or we could not live our lives. Grief for us transformed to remembrance, a way to share Ace with others and to keep that loving spirit with us. Every time we look back, we can share a part of Andy with others that did not know him. Is it always fun to reminisce? Absolutely not but in this case, there are always more smiles than there are tears.
We need to have the pain so that we can really appreciate and recognize happiness.
Yesterday, we did more laughing than crying. How can you not laugh when you talk about Ace and his antics like making a human battering ram or making a game out of changing chem lights in a port a potty?
I struggled with words today as it can be so difficult to explain feelings, especially feelings about the life and death of my son. My motivation was to hopefully help anyone who might happen on this blog that is struggling with pain of loss. There is no timeline for grief but eventually that grief needs to be sustainable in order to live."Grief is in two parts. The first in loss.The second is the remaking of life." ~ Anne Rolphe
Ace's Mom ~ "There is nothing to be unhappy about." ~ Andy "Ace" Nowacki
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