Defining moments...how many times have we heard that term or read that descriptive term? A defining moment is a time when the direction our lives is taking is changed, subtly or dramatically, in a certain way leading us to greater insight and expanded awareness. Is the defining moment one in which you feel you were hit by a baseball bat or a subtle moment that you are not even consciously thinking of but still affected you? If you think about it, we can probably have more than one defining moment in our lives, depending on where we are on life's journey.
Ace's defining moment came at an early age. Indeed, it may have been more of a defining "process" as I am not sure if a five year old can have that kind of a life altering event. Ace decided to take care of people, to be that person who tried to make everyone happy, to feel good about themselves. That desire to be his brothers' keeper manifested itself in acts of selflessness; giving away his favorite Care Bear to a child who did not have a toy to protecting citizens as a policemen or Marines as a gunner. This unselfish spirit was a way of life for Andy and the fact that he knew his role was to take care of people at such an early age was pretty astonishing.
My defining moment came when we learned that Ace was killed. It was then that I vowed that no one would forget Ace and that anyone could walk up to me and talk about him with feelings of happiness. In making that promise, the Andy Nowacki scholarship was born.
How many parents get to say that their son, nine years gone, has recently made new friends? How many people have said to me that they never had a chance to meet Ace in life but feel like he is one of their best friends?
Is the path chosen that day, over nine years ago and easy one? In some ways, it is. The myriad of wonderful people we have met on this road are too numerous to even recount and the continuing love of Ace's Marine and Police families that still surrounds us is nothing short of wondrous yet there are moments when it would be easier to just hide away. I do know that it is better to feel joy and pain than to not feel anything at all. In physical terms, sometimes talking about Ace is like pushing on a bruise that never heals; you are not fully aware of the pain until you press on it with your finger. You don't want that pain to go away because if it does, your loved one might be forgotten. I guess there is such a thing as "good pain".
As we go through this Easter weekend, I will be pushing on the bruise, thinking of and talking about Andy but doing it all with a smile, because how can you help not smile?
Ace's Mom
"There is nothing to be unhappy about" ~ Ace Nowacki
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