Andy and The Italians

 Andy did not like school much. He liked his teachers and his friends, but school was not something he got excited about, probably because he had to work hard to get decent grades. With this in mind, it came as a surprise to me that he wrote long letters home on his first deployment and that they were really humorous.

One of the funniest letters that Andy ever wrote described the time he spent at Camp White Horse, a military base occupied by Italians and Brits. Andy, during some kind of firefight, had fallen on his knee and split it open, requiring stitches. He was sent to Camp White Horse with his dog, Frank. He did have the option to return home with some mechanics, but he said the he did not "feel right about leaving all his friends".


Here is a list of what Andy said he had learned, up to that point:

1. "Sappy plates work
2. Hard back Humvees look bullet proof, but they are not, (Army has high speed Humvees that are bullet proof with A/C)
3. AK-42's and RPG's are inaccurate ( they are better off closing their eyes)
4. (The new one) Italians have no shame! i.e. going from the barracks to the shower room with nothing  but a cigar and shower shoes
5. The Italian and British female are all looking for an "American guy", so needless to say that when I go eat (by myself since there are only 9 other Americans here)  all the Italians sit next to me and the Brits fight for the closest chair, like musical chairs. So dinner conversation goes like this: After everyone sits down, I  say  "Bon Notte (that is good evening, in Italian) and then they say some thing that I DO NOT understand!!They giggle, I smile and nod my head and then slurp up another noodle.( I can barely understand the Brits as their accents are so thick you could cut it with a knife). This goes on until I am done. I then go outside and feed Frank. I placed my other animal friends with Marines and Italians. Frank and I then go home (escorted by the girls).They say "bonjorno" (good day) and leave, giggling. Then the Italian guys come over wearing Speedos (yes! Speedos!), shower shoes and cigars and feed me and Frank Heineken beer and cigars. (Frank likes Heineken beer but I cannot get him to hold a cigar in his mouth!) Frank and I go to bed about midnite and that is my evening"

There is a bit more to the letter, a paragraph about going for a check up but Frank having to wait outside....something about "cleanliness". It was a 6 page letter, unprecedented in the world of Andy!
I will have to share the story of his attempt at chicken farming in a future post.

Sheila

"There is nothing to be unhappy about" - Ace Nowacki