Passage of Time

Seven years ago, our lives were changed in an unimaginable way. Two Marines knocked on our door to tell us that our youngest son was killed in combat. It is one of the moments in time that is indelibly imprinted in my mind, a moment that I would give anything to have erased.

The passage of time dulls the sharpness of the grief, but the pain does not go away. There are moments when the loss of Andy is still so overwhelming that tears flow and they cannot be held back. Now and again, we all need the outlet of tears, release the grief.

Fortunately, most of the time, thoughts of Andy are joyful, full of life and love, bringing smiles and outright laughter at unexpected moments, not tears. Who can forget Andy’s “blue steel” look and not giggle? Or envision his police car with a disco ball, smiley faces , skull door locks and a dashboard hula girl and not laugh aloud? How about Andy’s escapades doing yard work when he described the encounter with the lady who named every flower in her garden (Andy accidently trampled “Gladys” and there was hell to pay!)? The best of Ace is to watch his videos, Andy in action, making people laugh!

Yesterday, as we gathered with Andy’s friends, Marines and police brothers, it was heartwarming that we all talked about Andy and TO Andy amidst grins, smiles and happiness. Love for Ace just radiated in that room! Andy left a legacy that many us treasure; the legacy of laughter and love for one another. Is there anything greater than that?

Today is Andy’s casualty date. As the custodian of Ace’s legacy of caring and laughter, I will think of Andy with joy. Tears are not an option. I will celebrate his remarkable life with family and friends as we “Pedal for Heroes” to raise money for vets. Andy will be right there with Team Ace, urging us on to achieve our goal of 262 minutes, one minute for each Ohioan that has died since 9/11 in the Mideast. He really would not want it any other way would he?

 As Andy said, “there is nothing to be unhappy about”. I miss you, Ace.

Ace's Mom

Ace's Mom: Friends

Ace's Mom: Friends: I have had the opportunity to spend time with many of my friends over the last month. Some of these friends I "inherited" from Andy, and I h...

Friends

I have had the opportunity to spend time with many of my friends over the last month. Some of these friends I "inherited" from Andy, and I have come to love them dearly.Some did not "know" Andy but came to us through Andy. It is ironic that in losing Andy, I found so many other people to love.
I was lucky enough to travel to Chicago to run with a Marine, a cop, a Llama Chaser and a  girlfriend in the Chicago Half Marathon and 5k on 9/11. It was an amazing day with great people. We wore red shirts that had the "Wack Attack" logo on the front and the back said, "There is nothing to be unhappy about".

Andy was very good at describing his friends to me. In a letter from his first deployment, he described, with humor, every guy in his unit, their nicknames and how they got them. I also remember the anguish when one of them was shot, point blank, in the head as he was passing out aid packages.
I bring this up for a reason; life is short, too short for us not to appreciate those that have become dear to us and those that may. We cannot let the little things get in the way of reaching out. It does not matter who's turn it is to call, or who makes the next approach. It is insignificant who was able to make the party and who could not. All that really counts is that we continue to touch each other, care about each other and be there if we are needed. We need to put aside the "me" thoughts and think about the other guy.
Andy would call everyone that he had a phone number for just to say hi. He did not care if this person ever called him back as that is not what mattered to him. It was the gesture, the caring that mattered.
Denis, Pete, Nate and I often ask, "What would Andy do?".  It is almost always crystal clear: reach out, care and give all that you can.
Oh, if you need  to know what a Llama Chaser is, I recommend that you go to their web site and read all about them. They celebrate the true meaning of friendship and I love each and every one of them.
http://www.llamachasers.com/
Thanks for reading. I was kind of on a soap box this week.
"There is nothing to be unhappy about" - Ace Nowacki

Still Coping

One would think that there would be no surprises left when it comes to Andy, but that is not true. It is, most likely, the same for anyone who has lost someone they love dearly, not just me!
Andy has two Marine friends, one in Kansas City, Aaron, and one in Chicago, Kevin, who are running and decided to raise money for Andy's scholarship. They are amazing! The amount of work that they are putting into this for Andy is inspiring.
Of course, along with the all the race talk, there is a lot of "Andy talk" which keeps him right at the front of my mind. Everything reminds me of him: I see a Sharpie and I recall when he wrote his name on the arms of the Iraqi kids in the town the Marines made their camp. They all knew Andy's name. I see ice and remember that Andy was called "Ice Man" by the locals as he made the ice run into town for the unit. I see a dog and think of Frank, the dog that followed him everywhere in Iraq, and ran after his truck for miles when Andy came home.
Most of the time, it is OK but every once in a while, it is much like a punch to the solar plexus. Missing Andy is just a feeling that will always be there. Sometimes I can smile and at other times I will cry, but the emotions are a constant, a part of who I am. The pain is always there, lurking below the surface, and if there is a quiet moment, the feelings will creep in and my heart aches. Turning the sadness into a smile is something that I strive to do because I know that Andy would not want anyone to cry on his account.In fact, I can picture him standing over my shoulder as I write this, smiling in his goofy way, encouraging me to capture the joy. So smile ;-)'

"There is nothing to be unhappy about" - Ace Nowacki

Hike

I know that I have said that it never ceases to amaze me how Andy just keeps popping up in our lives, but it bears repeating.
This past week, we learned Troy Yocum, the Iraqi war veteran that is walking across America to raise money for Military families in need, is dedicating his walk through Eastlake to Classic Park in Andy's honor! Troy is a very special man with a dedication to his cause that many of you will relate to.
As always, it is such a mixed blessing: joy that Andy is never forgotten along with the pain of missing him. I grasp at whatever I can to cope with the loss of Ace; sometimes it is watching one of his "home" movies. It might be reading one of his letters or one of  emails that I saved. Many times it is just remembering Andy.

There was the time he called his police chief in sick so that they could eat breakfast together and then go to the St. Paddy's Day parade or the time he pimped out his police car and almost gave his Captain a coronary! In case you are wondering, his "alterations" consisted of: skulls for locks, a hula girl on the dash, a disco ball light and, the best part: Ace  lined up big, yellow smiley faces on the back window for anyone riding in the back to enjoy! When we drove to Grand River after Ace was killed, the Captain picked us up in that same police car. I smiled while riding in the back seat.:-)I guess we should always look at what we can smile about as opposed to what makes us sad, angry or indifferent.
Back to Troy. I am sure that Andy and other fallen heroes like Josh Harmon, Brian Montgomery and David Baker are walking step for step with Troy. They are supporting their brother, every inch of the way, in this grand endeavor. For me, I will be at Classic Park on Thursday, cheering on Troy and what he represents, hoping that I can take a few steps with him in honor of our fallen and I know that my Ace will be next to me, smiling, matching stride for stride.
If you want to read more about Troy, here is his web site:   http://drumhike.com/



Thank you for reading.
Sheila
  "There is nothing to be unhappy about"- Ace Nowacki

Heat

The talk of  most of us  centers around the weather; who has the hottest, the coldest, the nicest, the windiest, etc. Obviously, we are all talking about the heat and how it is affecting us. I won't say that we are whining but we are coming really close!
On Andy's first deployment, he talked about the severe conditions in Iraq. Remember, at that time, most of our military did not have quarters let alone running water or air-conditioning. The heat was soaring to the 120+ mark and did not really cool down at night. They all had to wake up multiple times at night in order to hydrate or they would end up sick. The only time they had relief was when the doc would insert an IV for fluids. Andy said that his clothes were so stiff from sweat when he took them off at night, he could stand them up in the corner. Of course there was no way to wash, so the stiff clothes were put back on in the morning!
Andy did not really complain, he was just matter of fact about it.

The second deployment found better living conditions; port a potties and not a hole in the ground! While Pete was in Iraq a month ago, he had it a lot better. He said, "Gee, Mom, we have AC and even ice cream!". He was being funny, trying to get me to not worry about him. :-) I am sure Andy was grinning.
Bearing all this in mind, I am really going to try not to whine about the heat. Stay cool!

"There is nothing to be unhappy about." - Ace Nowacki

Reflections

Today, my eldest niece will be getting married. It is a time for  savoring the company of those I love most in the world, as it is one of the rare occasions that all my siblings and most of the nieces, nephews, great nieces and nephews are all in the same geographical location. Family is our foundation.

It is inevitable that thoughts of Andy will be prominent. Andy really loved celebrated when he was able to be with his family. Family and friends were what mattered to him the most and hanging with his cousins was at the top of his list. Andy always tried to to touch everyone he could on a daily basis. He made people feel cared for.

I was always proud of Andy but never more so than when I heard some of the stories from his unit: he spent hours learning to play "Happy Birthday" on a keyboard (he was not a musician) to celebrate for a Marine; if he was finished eating and someone came in alone, he would stay and keep them company; he would make an special occasion out of anyone's birthday, no matter their rank; he was "Secret Santa" on steroids!

Today, as the family gathers to celebrate, Ace will be there too. We will feel his love and I know that he will be next to Heather, watching, smiling and sharing in the happiness of the day.

"There is nothing to be unhappy about"  - Andy "Ace" Nowacki